For a very long time I've focused way too much about what others think of me. It's been so toxic, and a really disgusting place to be. I think I just had an idea of who I wanted to be, or who I wanted to be seen as by others, and in my mind I hadn't met that standard.
I've always felt like I've never been good at taking pictures, that I smile awkwardly. When I saw this field, the first thing I thought of was the boys, in that picture. I got sad. Maybe if another army found it they could take really cute pictures for #ARMYSelcaDay but not me.
It was pretty disappointing when I only got 5 likes after posting it on twitter, and it just reaffirmed my fears. But I have to stop treating myself that way. I have to stop wanting reassurance from others who don't matter.
I think at that point I understood that I'm never going to be able to be that ideal version of myself, but that should not stop me from being who I am now, and being happy with myself.
On a side note, I think namjoon would really have appreciated the views at this gorgeous place.
#selflove #selfappreciation #flowerfields
#personawhothehellami #blog #namjooning