Holding on to pain doesn’t fix anything. Replaying the past over and over again doesn’t change it, and wishing things were different doesn’t make it so. In life you have to let go of what is hurting you, even if it feels almost impossible. Oddly enough, painful feelings can be comfortable, especially if they’re all you know. Certain feelings or situations can feel like a part of someone’s identity and in some ways, a person may forget who they are without them. This makes it impossible for people to let go. Also investing time, energy and sometimes even money into things can make people hold on tighter instead of letting go due to the fear of it all going to waste. However why invest further into something that you know isn’t beneficial for you?
Start with acceptance. Acceptance is key. You can’t let go without accepting. Understand that whatever you’re holding onto isn’t good for you and it isn’t healthy. Keep in mind that things that occurred in your past are no longer in your control yet you have the power to not let your past determine or affect your future. Don’t let it hold you back. Focus on what you can control — in this situation, yourself. Make the decision to let go. Things don’t disappear on their own; your urge to change has to be stronger than your urge to hold on. Emotionally detach yourself and put yourself first. Engage deeper into self care. Self care isn’t only face masks, it can mean picking up a new hobby that you enjoy. Something productive that protects your wellbeing for example working out, yoga, reading, writing, painting. During this time, allow yourself to feel, DO NOT take on a new hobby as a distraction, use it as a relief, a way to express emotion. Embrace it all and watch how you transform. At first you will grieve and feel hurt however soon you’ll come to realise that most times holding on does more damage than letting go. Be gentle with yourself, healing is a process not a destination.
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