My name is Chanel Oberlin, and I am the queen of Kappa Kappa Tau. These are my minions. I don't know their names. I don't want to know their names. They're known as... Chanel #2. Chanel #3. Chanel #5. I'm Chanel #1, obvi. There was a Chanel #4, but she got meningitis. She was like, "I'm sick. I have to go home." And I was like, "No. Stay." But she went home anyway, and then she died. So another thing I was right about.
My idol hahaha